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Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor-Texas Style". The contestants will all start in Dallas, then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Midland, Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo. From there they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas. Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read: "I'm gay, I love the Dixie Chicks, Boycott Beef, I voted for Al Gore, George Strait Sucks, Hillary in 2004, and I'm here to confiscate your guns." The first one who makes it back to Dallas alive, wins!
At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma. "Elation," she said. "And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?" The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be 'giddy up' ".
I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a rider less horse pulls up on the right. The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the other door and jumps onto the other horse. Just before he rode off, I yelled out, "What was all that about?" He replied, "Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through."
New words - old song
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